February 17, 2015

Behind.....














Behind the misty silence
Is a soul that cries so hard
Behind all those hope and wisdom
Is a fearful, brittle heart.

Behind all those laughter ripples
Is a pain that is kept hidden
Behind the walls of reasons
Are answers, unquestioned.

Behind the ties of space and time
Is a void that does not seem
Behind every journey that begins anew
Is a boulevard of broken dreams…..

February 15, 2015

How about Unloving?

How about unloving?

Yes, let us un-love this time.
Let us first shun the myriad of adjectives that 'adorn' the word 'LOVE'- 
True, Infinite ,Understanding,
Respectful,  Desperate, Demanding
Passionate, Beautiful, Friendly
Practical, Romantic,Motherly,
Inter-caste, Homosexual, Promising,
First-sight, Sentimental,Dying, 
Selfish, Unconditional, Unrequited,
Sexual, needy, coveted.

Delete it all.

Let us just unquote what writers of love have quoted since eons. Let us not believe it when Oscar Wilde says "You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear."  or when John Green says "Love is keeping the promise anyway”  or when Erich Segal says "Love means never having to say you're sorry". Just, just unlearn the umpteen definitions they have given  and  the zillion meanings they convey. Often, they contradict themselves I tell you.

Let us not buy what they have portrayed in movies-A walk to remember, The Notebook ,DDLJ, RHTDM or Veer-Zaara. Forget it all. Don't fall for flavored rhetorics -Shahrukh's&nbsp "I love you, I love you very very much Naina. Main aankhein band karta hoon toh tumhe dekhta hoon, aankhein kholta hoon toh tumhe dekhna chahta hoon..." or Amitabh's "Tum ho toh hum hai ... hum hai toh sab kuch hai ... warna kuch nahi, kuch bhi nahi" or Ranbeer's  "Tumhare jaisi ladkiyan flirting ke liye nahi ... ishq ke liye bani hai". Just don't take any of this. Do not link the lyrics of those songs in your playlist with somebody. All that is, is for entertainment only. Period.

Let us un-learn everything we know about love from friends, from college, from poetry, from family, from peers,from magazines ,from newspapers and from been-there-done-that junta. Let us not celebrate February. Date and dating is outdated. Let us not seek 'advice' from love gurus.Forget every memory you made, forget every promise you faked. Forget the way you proposed, forget the way you broke. Forget the nights you cried, forget the days you smiled. Shift+Ctrl+Del. There is no need to save or send those cheesy messages. Throw away the mementos. Refrain from PDA's on social media; it's as fake as it can get. Let us not write about love. Let us not read about love.

Un-love. Because we have been doing it the wrong way. Our love is whipped by the chain of letters in our surname. Our love is scared of the form of God we worship. Our love is built on foundations of promises which are sometimes hollow, other times impractical. Our love evaluates the monetary benefits first, social second. Our love expects too much when the other person owes us nothing. Our love is guided by society. Our love is questioned by our cast, creed, religion and rishtedaar. Our love peeps into our stars. Our love has checkpoints-parents, job, salary, marriage, kids and what not.Our love complicates. Our love hurts. Our love dies an 'honorable' death. Just un-learn it all!!!

UNLEARN IT.

Then what love is? Don't ask. I am not wise enough and describing love is a futile task. I only know that it has no synonym and no antonym. Love, once happened cannot be replaced with hatred, it cannot evaporate. Love never happens just because you're single on 14th Feb or you are a genius or because you own a Mercedes or you have so-called 'good heart' or because you are in a desperate need. Love is not a relationship, love is not marriage, love is not sex. And that Love has nothing to do with heart. It is a mind thing. A beautiful mind thing. We don't fall in love; we rise with love. It is definitely not blind; its intellectual enough to pick and choose for itself and even leave. Love cannot change unlike you and me; though it can expand or grow.It will linger in those coordinates of space and time even when we move on.It is not a promise of a happily-ever-after but a heartfelt mindful  'YOU'RE B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L' moment. PERHAPS.

Perhaps.
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PS: Don't believe in this too or in this or this!

February 03, 2015

Love in a cup

She is my favorite, my closest companion. A darling to many, she is not sexy enough to be served in a delicate wine glass. She is not colorful like the mock-tails served in five stars but blonde. She isn't pricey and so you won't find her true-self in CCD's but somewhere in the corner of a busy nukkad or in your very own kitchen, getting brewed with ginger love. She is nothing but sweet. She is My Cup of Tea. Both literally and metaphorically.

She is the one who 'makes-my-day' daily. In the morning, she unwraps me from the blankets of laziness. And then at night puts me to a peaceful sleep. During hectic hours in office or while worldly gossip with mom or when reading Nicholas Sparks in solitude, she is always there to help me ease out, to grasp every detail, to get me more involved in a thing. Be it a tiring hot Saturday afternoon or a chilly winter Sunday evening, she is an accompaniment. Be it a college reunion and reminiscing of good old memories or a family get together she gets invited first (given a great conversation starter she is)and then there is no stopping to the stories unfurling and "Ek Cup Chai Aur?".




She is my kick, my partner-in-crime. She knows my playlist from Jagjit Singh to Arijit Singh. She knows my every friend from school to college to corporate-the ones who left and the ones who stood by. She knows the books that made me laugh and the fiction that made me cry. She knows all my secrets more than anybody else. She knows...Everything!

She knows what I'm thinking or who is in my thoughts by the way I stare at her -and then out of the window and then at the ceiling and then again at her or the reverse.  She knows if I'm triumphant or crestfallen by the way I hold her- with both hands or with the right or with the left.  She is aware when I'm alone in the coterie, when I'm content with nothingness or when the company is blissful.  She knows with whom I am by the span and frequency of every sip . The spans are generally longer and frequency lesser when I am with my favorite people. Of course, she tastes better then. She herself appreciates that 'other-cup-of-tea'.



She calms me down  when I'm excited, she makes me cheer when I'm sad. My deepest scars and biggest fears lie buried inside her interstitial spaces. She has been a witness to all my fulfilled, unfulfilled and broken dreams. She has tasted all my tears and has measured my every smile. She doesn't say much but is a silent listener who understands why I did something I shouldn't have, why I  am awake at 3:37 in the  morning or why I'm reading Gulzar when I'm supposed to study or why that thing I yearned for is no more appealing. She tells me that it is okay to fail in something you worked hard for , that there  is no right-doing  or wrong doing-it's all relative, that it's okay to not have a goal at times, that it's normal to get angry, that reciprocal function for real life is "not defined". She is a bridge that connects my inner self with the mundane. Her warmth , like the first ray of the sun,reaches to  the treacherous rivers meandering in my palm, to the saline ocean that resides in my eyes. She is a healer, she is a lover.

She beams on the table when she sees me laugh and hugs me silently when I need it the most. No matter how big a cup is or how many times I have it, I just can't get enough of her.For me, anytime is tea time- before lunch, post dinner, 3PM, 5 AM, after another cup whatever. At times she comes with a little extra sugar and another times without ginger, sometimes just-not-perfect, sometimes a little less hot . But, she is always there to caress, unconditionally!

Cheers, To my cup  of tea!!!




PS: At times, the only good thing in an entire day could be ki 'Chai Acchi bani hai'. And that suffices.


January 25, 2015

Wing Commander Puja Thakur

I switched on TV today to watch Obama’s reception at Rashtrapati  Bhavan. But my eyes got glued to the lady in uniform-Wing Commander Puja Thakur! The grace in her walk, the calm on her face, the pride on her shoulders, the precision in her voice  and the confidence with which she carried herself in that navy-blue uniform-have you ever seen a more sexier model? I haven't. Sorry for Mr. Obama, but standing right behind him ,she is the one who stole the show today. I am not  interested in knowing the outcome of US president's visit or the theme of R-Day,  but this woman made me smile today-I was glad  and  filled with utmost respect to watch her  lead the guard of honor for the most powerful man and reminisce my childhood dream where I wished to be somebody like her.

I was some 7-8 years old when DD National used to telecast a navy based serial -'Aarohan'.  Pallavi Joshi was the main lead. The story revolved around how a young stubborn girl turns into a dignified, determined and disciplined woman navy officer. That was the time when I didn't even know that Indian Armed  Forces  had three wings (Yes I was  an  ignorant kid and Google uncle wasn't around)- I only knew that those people in uniform are brave hearts  and "wo desh ko  bachate hain". I used to eagerly wait for Sundays to watch Nikita(Pallavi Joshi)- it was fascinating to see how she underwent those difficult training sessions with injuries on knees and elbows,  how she almost gave up but didn't , how she sang the national anthem, how she was passionate about to serve her country, how she fought her fears, her parents, her physical stamina and also the dramatic in-love phase with a senior officer. The strict discipline and rules that the cadet had to follow were very intriguing for me and seeing a girl follow it was all the more inspiring at that time. Her neatly washed and ironed white shirt with knee length skirt, white navy cap with black border, the firmness and smartness in her posture with her left hand neatly raised till the forehead for a salute.... I was totally fidaa  on her personality and wanted  to become  SHE. I wanted to be a Nikita someday. I wanted to be in army. I didn't tell anyone. But I knew I would be happy being her.  I remember I used to act like her in front of the mirror. I do remember.




During school days, my PT instructor used to ask me to give Stand-At-Ease/Attention commands to the entire class.  That used to be a very enthralling moment for me-shouting out loud and clear-CLASS--SAAVDHAAN----VISHRAM-----SAAVDHAN-----VISHRAM. Taking part in Republic or Independence Day parades with all those rules for movement of hands, legs and shoulders was both fun and fulfilling -LEFT RIGHT LEFT---LEFT RIGHT LEFT. But the rat race and hunger for marks ate away the childhood fantasy. The drama was a small series and ended quite soon. DD used to do a repeat telecast and I remember I watched it every single time. But then one fine day it stopped telecasting, I grew up, board classes weren't too far and somewhere in between sneaked in the devil-IIT-JEE. Bas wahin THE-END ho gaya!!

When I saw  Puja Thakur today, I had  a sudden flashback of all these memories and  I realized that I have already traveled a long distance from what-could-have- been to what-could-never-be. My dream just got expired. I know I could have made it but maybe I wasn't passionate enough; may be it was just a dream and not an ambition. I just hope that the girls and women who aspire to be  in  army/navy and have still not crossed the age bar got inspired today. I wish we have more Puja Thakur's in the future to lead not just on R-Day but Every-Day, Every-Where. 

For me, matching earrings with your dress is an ordinary thing. Beauty lies in matching your attitude with the pride you earn.  Proud of you Puja Thakur. I am sure today you must have awakened many dreams.



Thank You! I am all smiles for You, for me :-)
The head is definitely held high!!!