How about unloving?
Yes, let us un-love this time.
Let us first shun the myriad of adjectives that 'adorn' the word 'LOVE'-
Yes, let us un-love this time.
Let us first shun the myriad of adjectives that 'adorn' the word 'LOVE'-
True, Infinite ,Understanding,
Respectful, Desperate, Demanding
Respectful, Desperate, Demanding
Passionate, Beautiful, Friendly
Practical, Romantic,
Inter-caste, Homosexual, Promising,
First-sight, Sentimental,Dying,
First-sight, Sentimental,Dying,
Selfish, Unconditional, Unrequited,
Sexual, needy, coveted.
Delete it all.
Sexual, needy, coveted.
Delete it all.
Let us just unquote what writers of love have quoted since eons. Let us not believe it when Oscar Wilde says "You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear." or when John Green says "Love is keeping the promise anyway” or when Erich Segal says "Love means never having to say you're sorry". Just, just unlearn the umpteen definitions they have given and the zillion meanings they convey. Often, they contradict themselves I tell you.
Let us not buy what they have portrayed in movies-A walk to remember, The Notebook ,DDLJ, RHTDM or Veer-Zaara. Forget it all. Don't fall for flavored rhetorics -Shahrukh's  "I love you, I love you very very much Naina. Main aankhein band karta hoon toh tumhe dekhta hoon, aankhein kholta hoon toh tumhe dekhna chahta hoon..." or Amitabh's "Tum ho toh hum hai ... hum hai toh sab kuch hai ... warna kuch nahi, kuch bhi nahi" or Ranbeer's "Tumhare jaisi ladkiyan flirting ke liye nahi ... ishq ke liye bani hai". Just don't take any of this. Do not link the lyrics of those songs in your playlist with somebody. All that is, is for entertainment only. Period.
Let us un-learn everything we know about love from friends, from college, from poetry, from family, from peers,from magazines ,from newspapers and from been-there-done-that junta. Let us not celebrate February. Date and dating is outdated. Let us not seek 'advice' from love gurus.Forget every memory you made, forget every promise you faked. Forget the way you proposed, forget the way you broke. Forget the nights you cried, forget the days you smiled. Shift+Ctrl+Del. There is no need to save or send those cheesy messages. Throw away the mementos. Refrain from PDA's on social media; it's as fake as it can get. Let us not write about love. Let us not read about love.
Un-love. Because we have been doing it the wrong way. Our love is whipped by the chain of letters in our surname. Our love is scared of the form of God we worship. Our love is built on foundations of promises which are sometimes hollow, other times impractical. Our love evaluates the monetary benefits first, social second. Our love expects too much when the other person owes us nothing. Our love is guided by society. Our love is questioned by our cast, creed, religion and rishtedaar. Our love peeps into our stars. Our love has checkpoints-parents, job, salary, marriage, kids and what not.Our love complicates. Our love hurts. Our love dies an 'honorable' death. Just un-learn it all!!!
UNLEARN IT.
Then what love is? Don't ask. I am not wise enough and describing love is a futile task. I only know that it has no synonym and no antonym. Love, once happened cannot be replaced with hatred, it cannot evaporate. Love never happens just because you're single on 14th Feb or you are a genius or because you own a Mercedes or you have so-called 'good heart' or because you are in a desperate need. Love is not a relationship, love is not marriage, love is not sex. And that Love has nothing to do with heart. It is a mind thing. A beautiful mind thing. We don't fall in love; we rise with love. It is definitely not blind; its intellectual enough to pick and choose for itself and even leave. Love cannot change unlike you and me; though it can expand or grow.It will linger in those coordinates of space and time even when we move on.It is not a promise of a happily-ever-after but aheartfelt mindful 'YOU'RE B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L' moment. PERHAPS.
Perhaps.
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PS: Don't believe in this too or in this or this!
Let us not buy what they have portrayed in movies-A walk to remember, The Notebook ,DDLJ, RHTDM or Veer-Zaara. Forget it all. Don't fall for flavored rhetorics -Shahrukh's  "I love you, I love you very very much Naina. Main aankhein band karta hoon toh tumhe dekhta hoon, aankhein kholta hoon toh tumhe dekhna chahta hoon..." or Amitabh's "Tum ho toh hum hai ... hum hai toh sab kuch hai ... warna kuch nahi, kuch bhi nahi" or Ranbeer's "Tumhare jaisi ladkiyan flirting ke liye nahi ... ishq ke liye bani hai". Just don't take any of this. Do not link the lyrics of those songs in your playlist with somebody. All that is, is for entertainment only. Period.
Let us un-learn everything we know about love from friends, from college, from poetry, from family, from peers,from magazines ,from newspapers and from been-there-done-that junta. Let us not celebrate February. Date and dating is outdated. Let us not seek 'advice' from love gurus.Forget every memory you made, forget every promise you faked. Forget the way you proposed, forget the way you broke. Forget the nights you cried, forget the days you smiled. Shift+Ctrl+Del. There is no need to save or send those cheesy messages. Throw away the mementos. Refrain from PDA's on social media; it's as fake as it can get. Let us not write about love. Let us not read about love.
Un-love. Because we have been doing it the wrong way. Our love is whipped by the chain of letters in our surname. Our love is scared of the form of God we worship. Our love is built on foundations of promises which are sometimes hollow, other times impractical. Our love evaluates the monetary benefits first, social second. Our love expects too much when the other person owes us nothing. Our love is guided by society. Our love is questioned by our cast, creed, religion and rishtedaar. Our love peeps into our stars. Our love has checkpoints-parents, job, salary, marriage, kids and what not.Our love complicates. Our love hurts. Our love dies an 'honorable' death. Just un-learn it all!!!
UNLEARN IT.
Then what love is? Don't ask. I am not wise enough and describing love is a futile task. I only know that it has no synonym and no antonym. Love, once happened cannot be replaced with hatred, it cannot evaporate. Love never happens just because you're single on 14th Feb or you are a genius or because you own a Mercedes or you have so-called 'good heart' or because you are in a desperate need. Love is not a relationship, love is not marriage, love is not sex. And that Love has nothing to do with heart. It is a mind thing. A beautiful mind thing. We don't fall in love; we rise with love. It is definitely not blind; its intellectual enough to pick and choose for itself and even leave. Love cannot change unlike you and me; though it can expand or grow.It will linger in those coordinates of space and time even when we move on.It is not a promise of a happily-ever-after but a
Perhaps.
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PS: Don't believe in this too or in this or this!
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Love indeed is overrated. It i just another thing under the sun like sand, sea ,flowers rain etc. It is perhaps beautiful but it does not command veneration. Unlearning is a good idea to appreciate the idea of "Love" in purer form. Well written.
ReplyDeletethank you Amit :)
DeleteThough everything, somehow, is love, or something related to it in a way that nothing that they said was wrong, and yet, nothing that you said was wrong either.
ReplyDeleteBut should you do this, expect a lot of failures, a lot of stumbling blocks, but also hope that you'll end up somewhere, different. That, should be enough :-)
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
This was such a refreshing read! Thoroughly enjoyed it! :D Wish you the best and keep writing :)
ReplyDelete